Jersey City Statue Modified to Reflect "Jersey Attitude"

A large sculpture depicting a woman with her finger to her lips in a "shushing" pose was recently unveiled in Jersey City, New Jersey. The statue is called "Water's Soul" and it is intended as a tribute to the beauty and importance of the Hudson River. The artist placed his art so that it would overlook the river and face New York City in the hope that it would unite the people of Jersey City and New York City. Unfortunately, the powers that be in Jersey City decided that the statue needed some modifications.

"Ya know, having a lady shushing, or whatever, is nice I guess, but it just don't feel like New Jersey," said Jersey City council member Art Gottago. "I mean, maybe some fancy-schmancy states like Connecticut would say it's great, but this is Jersey! I'm not saying the statue is bad or nothin', but c'mon! It's a giant lady asking people to be quiet. Good luck with that!"

The Jersey City Council determined that the statue does not really speak for the city or state. While the "Water's Soul" may be a beautiful work of art, the council decided that it should be altered slightly to portray what New Jersey is all about. In the end, the council decided to go with the suggestion from council member Art Gottago.

"It was no big deal," said Gottago. "I looked up at this 80 foot statue and realized she had the wrong finger pointing up. All I had to do was get some union guys I know, and badda-bing badda-boom, statue is fixed." Instead of holding her index finger up to her lips, the statue now holds a middle finger up towards anyone coming up the Hudson River or who is in lower Manhattan.

"I decided to change the statue's name to 'Big Bird,' cause, ya know, she's now flippin' the bird at everyone and she's real big," said Gottago. "She's still got her eyes closed so she don't discriminate; everybody gets the finger. It really is a thing of beauty and it lets people know what Jersey is all about."

Not everyone is happy with the change, and the council has already received a number of complaints and threats of lawsuits. The council is not worried, however, "Well ya can't please everyone," said Gottago, "You're always gonna get some namby pambies who complain. All I can say to these people is this." Gottago holds up his middle finger and laughs. "Me and the big lady make a good team. You can always count on us to give you a Jersey Salute."

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