Donald Trump Claims Constitution Proves Election Was Like Golf: Low Score Wins

Former President Donald Trump announced that based on a unique interpretation of the Constitution, he actually won the election by receiving fewer votes. Trump is suggesting that a little known amendment states that in the event of suspected voter fraud, the candidate who receives fewer votes is obviously not the cheater and, therefore, will be declared the winner.

"Of course, I won the election," said Trump. "Every poll shows I should have won and if the election hadn't been stolen, I would still be in the White House. But I've had some of the best people looking into it, and they've come up with a great, really, really great answer that will stop the steal."

The best people that Trump is referring to is CEO of the My Pillow company, Mike Lindell. He claims that while doing research in the National Archives, he discovered an unknown part of the 12th Amendment. "Don't let the fake news media fool you," said Lindell. "Donald Trump won the 2020 election by a landslide. The fact that all these audits are finding that Biden got more votes proves it. Fortunately I discovered a sub-amendment to the 12th Amendment concerning presidential elections. The sub-amendment says that if fraud is suspected, then the candidate with fewer votes wins because they're not the one who committed fraud. It's all right there in black and sepia."


Lindell has provided a picture of the document, but it has yet to be verified. The National Archives says no such document exists and that there is no such thing as a sub-amendment. Lindell scoffs at the criticism. "The National Archives will say anything to discredit me," he said. "But I have irrefutable photographic evidence that was not Photoshopped!"

Donald Trump is also a believer. "When the Pillow Guy contacted me and said, 'Sir, I have great news. I have proof from the Constitution that you should still be president.' And I told him that we need to get this information to the Supreme Court right away," said Trump. "It's like golf, and I know a lot about golf. I'm a great, really great golfer. I have won many, many club tournaments. So many pros have told me I would have been a fantastic professional golfer. Probably the best ever. And in the great game of golf, it's low score that wins. That's just like this election. I got fewer votes so I'm definitely the winner."

"It makes perfect sense," continued Trump. "Ya know the founding fathers were really smart guys. Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Franklin. All of them were like, really, really smart so they would have planned for something like this. So when great, truly great patriots like Sam Adams and George Hamilton were writing the Constitution they made sure no one could steal an election."

Trump believes that this new evidence should put him back in the White House by Christmas.

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